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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?